Day #92- "Sometimes Life is Pretty Difficult"

--Is what the older, down-on-his-luck, man in the grocery store said to me today before he bade me good-bye.  I was buying supplies for the restaurant when he approached me out of all the other shoppers.  He told me that something was wrong with his car, that he had to go up north and could I please let him buy my groceries with some sort of card that he had and then give him the cash for it.

"I'm not sure," I said wondering what the heck he meant.  So I skeptically lined up in the check-out lane then the man helped me unload the 10 gallons of milk and 8 packages of berries.  I guess it was some sort of food stamp card and the cashier gave me a funny look.  I pretended that the man and I were together and asked her to give me a club card.  She just shook her head and proceeded with the transaction without hassle.  The amount came to something like 43 bucks.  We walked to the exit and he gave me a sheepish smile.  He was apologetic and thankful at the same time.  I felt bad for having been a skeptic so I gave him a fifty dollar bill.

When he said that "Sometimes life is pretty difficult," my heart broke a little for him.  He said it in a way where the weariness of a hundred lifetimes seemed to have pulverized his bones to meal, but there he stood, still trying to live.

I walked into the grocery store with my mind filled with my own troubles and problems.  Then someone who (I'm sure with all my heart) is struggling for basic survival asks me for help, I can't help but feel chastened.

I'm only struggling for the survival of my life as I know it, not for survival, not like him.

I cried all morning for that man.  I should have told him that he was going to be okay--that he was going to make it.

But all I managed to say was "Yeah, I know".